Sanctimoniously Dumping Adam Lambert
ABC is developing a new reality series called “Sanctimoniously Dumping Adam Lambert.”
In this week’s episode, the network dumps the “American Idol” runner-up from not one but two more programs: “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and its “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” while batting its eyes coyly. It declined primly to comment on either decision.
“Dumping Adam” debuted last month when the network yanked a scheduled appearance and performance by Lambert on its infotainment show “Good Morning America” — which was strange because Lambert had made, you know, news when he’d performed a few days earlier at the American Music Awards, also on ABC.
On Sunday, Nov. 22, Lambert brought down the house at the AMAs, and gave ABC the vapors with a highly choreographed performance that included a male-dancer-shoves-face-in-Lambert-crotch move, and a Lambert-kisses-dude stunt. The Lambert-walks-shirtless-leather-chapped-guys-on-leash bit? ABC was totally fine with that.
Note to ABC: Airing music trophy shows is not for the faint of heart. And, when an artist is performing surrounded by chicks dressed like pre-World War II Berlin hookers hanging from stripper poles, and guys are being walked on all fours like dogs, and the tune’s lyrics go like this:
Imma hurt you real good baby
Let’s go, it’s my show, baby, do what I say . . .
I told ya, Imma hold ya down until you’re amazed
Give it to ya til you’re screamin’ my name
. . . sometimes things are going to happen.
Anyway, two days later, ABC yanked Lambert from “GMA” after reporting it had received 1,500 complaints, explaining that “given his controversial American Music Awards performance, we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning.”
On the other hand, ABC also boasted that the AMA broadcast, in which Lambert was the closing and most highly anticipated act, had attracted its biggest audience in seven years with an impressive 2 million more viewers than last year’s show.
Can a network be happily mortified?
Since then, Lambert has gone on Ellen DeGeneres’s syndicated talk show and said, of his AMA performance: “I think in hindsight, I look back and I go, ‘Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best first impression to make.’ I had fun up there. I had a good time. . . . But you know what, I respect people and I feel like people walked away from that feeling disrespected, and I would never intend to disrespect anybody. So that was not my intention.”
Even so, ABC decided Lambert is now so radioactive it needs to get out of the Adam business altogether. So it’s pulled his scheduled Dec. 17 appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” — the ABC late-night show best known for its “I’m [shagging] Matt Damon”/”I’m [shagging] Ben Affleck” videos.
He’s also been barred from performing on ABC’s “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” even though his old pal “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest is executive producer.
“Yes, sadly friends, ABC has cancelled my appearances on Kimmel and NYE. :(” Lambert tweeted Thursday, adding, “Don’t blame them. It’s the FCC heat.”
We called the Federal Communications Commission to ask about Lambert’s AMA performance. A spokesman could not say how many complaints have been received about the incident.
Of course, FCC indecency regs do not apply to late-night TV — or, for that matter, the 10:55 p.m. spot when Lambert gave his now-infamous AMA performance.
But ABC is not out of the Adam Lambert business altogether. He’s still scheduled to be among those 10 Most Fascinating People that Babs Walters cozies up to in her annual taped special, airing Wednesday.
Unless, of course, that broadcast becomes the season finale of “Sanctimoniously Dumping Adam Lambert.”